New World

I picked you up out of your carseat
and you bounced on exuberantly on my hip -
which felt to me as though
it was made precisely for this moment,
for you.

I looked at you to be certain
that you were happy -
because you change your mind faster than I do -
and that your hat was still on -
because you've grown so good at losing it -
and that you were really there,
really real -
because you felt too good for this life,
like something I made up
in those moments when the heart-hunger
is all that I can taste.

I looked away from you to be certain
that the world was still there -
because I'm not used to being this happy -
and found it was gone.
It must have bowed down in awe,
relinquished its crown of reality,
for just that moment
when the cling of your hand on my shoulder
made me, and all things, new.

I miss you now, and with you,
I miss the power of your clinging hands.
I miss brighter colors,
a full heart,
hope.